Answers...

One of the things I love most in life is seeing God work! To look back and see God's hand. To see that He has been there the whole time orchestrating something amazing. I love seeing and hearing how God is working in the lives of others. There is no way that I could ever walk apart from God--no matter what I have been through or what I have done, He is the one who will always be there. I love it when God shows up and totally rocks your world. I feel like for the last few months I was really struggling because I had no idea what God was up to with my life. I felt like I was having one of those "in the valley" experiences where I didn't necessarily "feel" God. I knew He was there and I knew that He was working, but I wanted to have answers. I told myself not to lose hope, because I know that my God isn't going to lead me anywhere that I can't handle. I spent a lot of time praying for answers concerning a job, hardships in my family, my emotions, and my marriage. I have always been taught that God always answers your prayers...sometimes you just have to wait. Eww...I hate that word..wait. I have never been good at that! Not too long ago, I wrote a post about "giving it all to God"...and I wrote how I finally TRULY gave my worries to the Lord. And then something amazing happened... God did not waste any time in blessing me. A few days after praying and giving my burdens to God, He blessed me with a job that really could not be any better! I will have great hours and will still be working with kids and planning lessons. The stuff I LOVE! Another great thing happened... I hope my mom doesn't mind if I share this, but she has been dealing with a lot of pain and anger and hurt because of several situations in her family. If anyone knows my mom, she is bubbly and happy a good portion of the time. She is probably my favorite person on the planet. She and my dad are the ones who truly taught me what love was. Anyways, it hurt me that she was hurting, and there wasn't anything I could do to take it away from her. So, I prayed that God would do it for me. My mom called me yesterday, and told me that for the first time in a long time she was so excited about what God was doing. She said that He was taking away that pain, and filling her with joy again. He was teaching her, and she was being open to being taught. I was so excited--and amazed at God once again! We are all blessed everyday. If we look for God in our everyday lives, we will see Him. Remember to keep hoping in the Lord, and keep praying. He hears you! Be Blessed! Jenn

Accountability...

Have you ever encountered someone who is a "convenient Christian"...someone who only represents Christ when it seems convenient for them? Forgive me if I rant and rave a bit on this blog, but this is something that has been weighing heavy on my mind for a while. I sometimes wonder if people understand what it really means to follow Christ. What ever happened to "fearing" God? When did we become so tolerant of doing things that are not representing Christ the way He deserves to be represented? I know that I am not the perfect Christian by any means. I AM NOT EVEN CLOSE. But I can honestly say that I really do strive to live a life that is holy and pleasing to God. I realize that my actions not only affect me, but others around me. There have been times in my life where it would have been a lot easier for me to "follow the crowd", but I knew that my witness would have been ruined. There are people in my life right now that I love tremendously who are Christians, but I rarely see Christ reflected in their actions or choices. This bothers me. It bothers me to know that they are living their OWN lives, apart from God--they are missing out on a lot of joy and comfort, guidance and peace. It bothers me that they think they can do what is "fun" now, and worry about their relationship with God later. I know Christ's love, and I know what is feels like to be in His presence. I want the people I love to have that too. I want them to realize that the things in this world truly are temporary--that the choices we make everyday matter--that we are NOT invincible. Every second matters. In Revelation, God says He will spit the lukewarm out of His mouth. I don't want anyone I love to be in that situation. Now, I also realize that I may be to blame for some of this. It is my responsiblity to keep others accountable and I need that accountability as well. I know there are many times where I see one of my brothers or sisters in Christ heading away from what is right, and I am so worried about upsetting them or stepping on their toes, that I don't say anything. I just let them fall away from the Lord. What kind of person does that make me? Quite honestly, I am tired of worrying what someone is going to think of me. I am tired of keeping my mouth shut. My prayer is that God would give me loving ways to keep my friends and my family accountable. I am very blessed to have people in my life who keep me accountable. They call me out on the "junk" in my life, and there are times when it hurts my feelings or I get defensive, but deep down I know they are right. I know that I needed to hear it. I don't really know where to end with this. Just remember that we have a responsibility to one another to keep each other accountable. We have a responsibility to pray for one another. We have a responsibility to love one another. Be blessed! Jenn

Childlike Faith...

Anyone who knows me knows that I love kids. I love the way their little brains work. I love the things they say. I love their innocence. Oh to be a child again. There are days when I long to just be a kid again. David and I were talking about this the other day. It was fun to think back to a time when our biggest concern was what we were going to play when we got home from school or what we were having for snack. Life was simple then. Hard to believe that there was a time in my life when I had absolutely no worries.

Last week, I kept randomly singing children's "Sunday School" songs--for example "He's got the whole world in His hands..." or "Rise and shine, and give God the glory..." or "This is the day that the Lord has made..." I love those songs. I have no idea why they kept popping into my head, but I realized that it made me happy to sing these simple--truthfilled tunes.

I started thinking about what it means to have "childlike faith." Have you ever heard a little kid talk about God? It is a beautiful and humbling thing. With kids, they just seem to believe. They don't argue the facts or analyze every aspect of every occurance in their lives. They just believe in Jesus. I feel like sometimes, as adults, we get so caught up in the why's or why nots of life. We forget to focus on the simple facts about Christ- that He loved us and died for us. It is all that other "stuff" in our lives that sometimes overshadows the simplicity of having a relationship with Christ.

Just something to think about. It's refreshing to approach Christ with a childlike faith. After all, we are His children. I hope that all of those sweet little childhood songs get stuck in your head as a reminder that accepting Christ's love is simple!

Be blessed!

Jenn

God-given Passion...

What are you passionate about? Have you ever really thought about it? I love that God gives us spiritual gifts, but He also gives us things that we are passionate about. He gives us things that we love and can't live without. I think that I could often guess other people's passions just by observing their lives. My husband, for example, is passionate about helping others. It honestly just comes naturally to him. He would not think twice about helping someone else. I love this about him. That is ultimately why he is pursuing a career in Physical Therapy-to help and love others. I have several friends who have a huge passion for missions. They want to minister to people of other cultures and other religions. God has equipped them for this. Now for my passion... I don't have to sit and think long and hard about what my passion is. I have always known. I am desperately, completely, wholeheartedly passionate about music and singing. According to my family, I started singing at a very young age. I can honestly say that I am happiest when I am singing praises to my awesome God and leading worship. I can also sit at home singing in a room all by myself, and feel so close to God. I am so moved by music. I am moved by lyrics and melodies. I am moved by harmonies and emotion. Music just gets to me. I love pouring my heart out in song. One of my ambitions in life is to create music. I love writing lyrics--and creating melodies in my head. Sometimes I think this "goal" of mine is pretty ridiculous. Kind of like me saying I want to be an astronaut or something. But no matter what, I want to always use my passion for Christ. He gave me this passion in the first place--why not use it to glorify Him. Here are some lyrics by Kim Walker (who may be my role model) who pretty much sums up my passion... "Can't hold my love back from You. I can't hold my love back from You. I gotta sing, I gotta sing, sing my love...Can't hold my praise back from You. Can't hold my praise back from You. I gotta shout, I gotta shout, shout my love." Think about what your own passions are. Are you using them for the glory of God or are you hiding them? I would love for everyone who reads this to comment on what their passion is. I think it would be interesting to see how unique we all are, but how we all have a part to play in God's kingdom! Be blessed!! Jenn

Giving it ALL to God...

I know we have all heard people say, "I am giving it all to God" in reference to worries and fear of the unknown things in our lives or to things that we realize we cannot control. I have used this phrase many times in my own life, maybe not fully being truthful when I said it or even thought it. It is a nice thought that I can take all of the worries I have--which lately I have had a lot of worries--and just hand them over to God. I know in my heart and in my head that He is able to take all of that "junk" that is burdening me and I can rest in the fact that He will take care of me. But why is it so hard to truly "give it all to God"? I have been asking myself this question a lot lately. Maybe it is hard for us to let someone else have control over our lives. In all of my thinking, I have realized that this is pretty ridiculous. It is ridiculous for me to believe that I can take care of myself--by myself. Why wouldn't I want the God of this Universe in control of my small, seemingly unimportant life? Yesterday, I was at the church where David's dad is the pastor. He said one simple thing that made me realize that I am not handing my burdens over to the Lord. He said this, "Give it to God, and don't take it back!" I felt like this comment may have been totally directed at me. I am so glad that God speaks through other people to get our attention. I sometimes pray that God will take my worries away--and pray that I will completely trust Him, and then it seems that a few days--or hours--later I am back at it again. Back at worrying and fearing and stressing about things I have no control over. Last night, I prayed from the depth of my heart that God would truly take those things away--and I meant it. I wanted Him to have them. He loves me so much that He will take those things from me if I have faith. I think I am relearning the meaning of "giving it to God" and relearning what it means to have faith. I am loving the fact that "God has already ordained all of my days before one of them came to be" Why would I ever worry when He already has everything figured out for me--and He does want GOOD for me? Never forget that God is good. He is so much bigger than all of our worries or fears--our heartaches or disappointments. Give it all to Him--and don't ever take it back. Be Blessed! Jenn

Confessions of a Newlywed...

Well, I have been married for almost 2 1/2 months, and it has been glorious. I have wanted to be a wife since boys didn't seem so "icky" anymore. Okay maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration, but I can honestly say that I have prayed for David for a very long time. I remember thinking some days before David came into the picture that I was never going to "find" the man of my dreams. But the thing is, I didn't have to "find" David, God brought him to me and created him for me. Amazing. There has never been a doubt that David is my soulmate. He knows me better than anyone and somehow loves me past all of my annoying flaws.

Being a wife is great. BUT it isn't always easy. I have seen a lot in myself that needs to change since I have been married. I have noticed things in myself that I have never noticed before. Like the fact that I am way more independent than I knew. Or that I am stubborn. Or wait, that I am pretty selfish on some days. The list could really go on. I guess we all have those things about ourselves that aren't so pleasant. Thankfully, David doesn't want to disown me, and loves me despite those "icky" things about me.

I was reading Proverbs 31 the other day, and ended up thinking that I am a long way from being the woman described in that passage. But that is okay. I am so glad that God gave all of us women Proverbs 31 to outline what it means to be a Godly wife. It gives us all something to aim for. Here are the two verses that always just get me...

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."-- vs. 25

"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praised her." - vs. 28

What an amazing thing to shoot for. I always told David that I wanted him and our future children to see God in me. To see Christ in my roles as a wife and a friend. How rewarding that would be!

The relationship of husband and wife is so special. I trust David with my life. I love being able to be here when he gets home. I love being able to encourage him when he is stressed out. I love being able to laugh with him about dumb things that no one else would probably think was funny. I love having deep Godly conversations with him and I love seeing what God is doing with his life. Ultimately, I love the blessing of being his wife.

Be blessed!

Jenn

Jumbled Thoughts...

I really wanted to sit down today and write something meaningful and something that had a point, but as I sit here, my mind is all jumbled. The last week of my life has been like an emotional roller coaster--and for some reason I feel like I am stuck on the ride. Lately, I have not quite felt like myself. Last week I lost my grandfather to a horrible disease. I listened to my mom's voice on the phone when she called to tell me the news--and wished that I could do something to stop her pain and sadness. I watched my mom and her two sisters mourn the loss of their father, but also rejoice in knowing that he is with the Lord now and he is perfect with no disease or pain. As I listened to them reminence about their father's life, I remembered that life is temporary and what we do here matters. I really want my life to count for something. I want my God to be proud of me. At this time in my life, I am really questioning what exactly my purpose is. There have been times in my life where I have been sure of what God is wanting me to do, and there have been times, like now, where I don't have a clue. I feel like God has really been working on my heart and spirit, and I am so anxious to see what He is up to. But it is hard waiting. It is so hard not knowing. I really want to do something great for God's Kingdom and make a difference that really matters. Our world is a scary place--it terrifies me to see how Satan has a hold on some people--how human life doesn't seem to matter--how someone can steal someone's life without a single thought--how God is mocked instead of being feared. The world needs people who love the Lord to stand for Him. To love those who are hurting. To pray for those who are lost. I want God to use me to change the world in some small way. I want to be confident that He will provide me with the strength to not follow what the world wants, but what He wants. I know that this post is slightly incohesive--just a whole bunch of thoughts, but I think it is important to share what's going on in your heart--whether good or bad, confusing or clear. No matter what, God is good. Period. Let His joy always fill your life--no matter what kind of roller coaster you may be on. Seek His Goodness-- Jenn